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Who better to close out the opening round than a former college student who's claimed to have sold dope (Tity 2 Chainz) and someone who watched his friend sell A LOT of dope? Would Pusha T's keen observation skills (through scribbling in his notepad, he created his life) be enough to get him past 2 Chainz tall tales? Let's unwrap the bricks.
I put myself through the tortue of listening to something called "Codeine Cowboy" and Pusha T's lackluster "Fear Of God". I must say I was thoroughly entertained by some of these songs, especially the one with the hook that goes something like "The dopeman is my muhfuckin' role model!". Of course, Tity Boi, of course.
This was quite the battle throughout because just when it seemed Malice, err, Pusha T was pulling away, 2 Chainz came back with an ode to his favorite in the house, "Kitchen", coincidentally (or maybe not), a song that features the Pusha Man. In just one verse and a hook of work, 2 Chainz put up a game-high 15 (!) dope points on a variety of hustler lines. For a Southern, often incoherent, awful rapper, I must say that is impressive.
In the end, Pusha T's relentless (read: overdone) coke tales were too much for our vision impaired rapper. Pusha averaged a solid 6 points a song, and that was with him, miraculously, not scoring one in his last song ("Money On My Mind" Freestyle). Say what you will about the man, but he is consistent. How else do you think he's managed to be the only person with cornrows still roaming the earth?
Final score: Pusha T 30, 2 Chainz 28.
Highlights:
"No barking from the dog, Pinky just died. See, I done had that dog for a long muhfuckin' time." - 2 Chainz, Man's best friend's best friend.
"Help my young bitch see her way through her Bachelor's; send my old bitch right back to get her Master's, same graduation I was clappin' in the rafters," - Pusha T, HBCU alumni.
Simon Caine
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